Temari (
dangerouswind) wrote2013-06-14 07:54 pm
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[Community building one. Fourth floor. Early evening. A door slams.
Once. Twice. Three times, each time with a little more force. Finally, a thud and wood cracking; she's punched a wall. There's a crash inside one of the apartments - ceramic against a wall, then falling to the floor. Temari leaves the apartment, leaves the door open, and stalks away.
She's going for a walk.
Just inside her apartment door, a plant lies neglected in a pile of dirt and shattered ceramic.
She spends some time just outside the village, using a tree as a sparring partner. She, at least, has enough sense to not actually connect with the rough bark, but it makes a good enough target to throw a few punches toward. She wants nothing more than to beat something - someone - to a damned pulp, but what is she going to do but live with it?
It's later - hours later - that she makes her way to the Memory Garden. There, physically weary and emotionally strung out, she sits in front of the plants she's tended for so long. Wildflowers are ringed by bright, fiery desert blooms; in front of the small plot is a stone etched with kanji. Beside the stone, she sets one glass bead: a reminder of Kankurou's (second) time in Luceti. The bead will be blown away by the wind, lost to the elements eventually. She knows it; still leaves it there.
That night, she'll go home. Clean up her mess. Start living life again.]
Once. Twice. Three times, each time with a little more force. Finally, a thud and wood cracking; she's punched a wall. There's a crash inside one of the apartments - ceramic against a wall, then falling to the floor. Temari leaves the apartment, leaves the door open, and stalks away.
She's going for a walk.
Just inside her apartment door, a plant lies neglected in a pile of dirt and shattered ceramic.
She spends some time just outside the village, using a tree as a sparring partner. She, at least, has enough sense to not actually connect with the rough bark, but it makes a good enough target to throw a few punches toward. She wants nothing more than to beat something - someone - to a damned pulp, but what is she going to do but live with it?
It's later - hours later - that she makes her way to the Memory Garden. There, physically weary and emotionally strung out, she sits in front of the plants she's tended for so long. Wildflowers are ringed by bright, fiery desert blooms; in front of the small plot is a stone etched with kanji. Beside the stone, she sets one glass bead: a reminder of Kankurou's (second) time in Luceti. The bead will be blown away by the wind, lost to the elements eventually. She knows it; still leaves it there.
That night, she'll go home. Clean up her mess. Start living life again.]
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I wasn't exactly hiding.
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[Not all things worth looking for are hidden. Some are just misplaced and lost.]
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She wants to say something. Silence doesn't seem right. Kankuro was never the silent type, so why try to honor his memory by sitting in complete silence?
... And why is she acting like he's dead? He's fine. He's fine and he'll be fine. He'll survive the war. He'll thrive. It'll all be fine. He doesn't need her anymore. He's grown into a fine man who doesn't need his big sister dogging his every step.
She tosses another rock into the water.]
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Are you coming back tonight?
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[Still has to clean up a mess - as far as she knows - and close a door on an empty room.]
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You're just too tired to look, he thinks, and fetches another stone.]
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Can't stand the thought of being alone.
Don't go.]
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Here she is now, gripping fast to his shirt sleeve like a child afraid of being separated from a parent.
"Dad... Can you let go of my hand already?"
"Oh? Are you embarrassed?"]
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It's okay. It's okay to need someone.]
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She always thought that she would be the one to go home. Anything in Luceti is temporary; it's the very nature of the place. Alliances won't last, friendships will be severed, families are broken. Her brothers have come and gone, though, and she's been left here.
She's never even managed to be their sister here.
She's been a fool and she's not going home and now she's living with regret.
She's such an idiot.
It's hard not to notice the tears - they embody every weakness she tries very hard to live without. An inane thought cross her mind: Tables are turned. I'm the crybaby now. No sobbing, no wailing, not even shaking shoulders. Just tears.
She can't keep living in Suna while she's here. It's not working.]
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And here before him is the person he never though would need it.
He doesn't want to be that way, however. Not just for her, he wants to be warmer. He rubs his thumb over her knuckle, and makes to sit beside her on that rock as well as he can, with the space.]
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Stupid. All of it, from Kankuro's leaving to her tears.]
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There's too much thinking to do. She turns her head just enough to look at him. Her voice is a little rough.] You gonna tell me I'm not alone, too? Because really. It's been pounded into my head all day. [There's nothing belligerent in her tone. She knows what they're saying, she gets it, she even appreciates it... but it's been about the only thing she's heard.]
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[And he holds her hand a little tighter, before saying the next thing.]
You've done a good job of trying to convince me otherwise, but it's all right. To cry, and be upset, that is.
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Tell that to Kankuro. [She can't shake the feeling that he'd be ashamed of her.] I'd almost gotten used to not having them around when he showed up. [A pause, because this is what she's ashamed of. Not the tears. Not being upset. She never tried to re-establish that connection while he was here.] Hadn't even really figured out how to live with him again before he was gone.
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Not that I'm gonna blame him for that. There's nothing to blame.
[It just happens. All the time, it happens.]
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[There's nothing to blame -- so how can she fight it?]
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That's life. It's not unique to here.
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... Well. Obviously, she has a little trouble with that.]
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